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Return of the King

I have so much to do... What the heck! Its been almost two years since I wrote a post here...
Guess it will have to wait for one more month to come alive again.. Planning to make blogging a new year resolution :-).

Cog n Wheels

I am so tired now
Of working day and night
I don’t know what I am doing
Whether its wrong or right
I don’t even find time
To pushback or to fight
Why do they try to oppress
By showing their might
How long will they subdue me
Oh lord! Show me the light
No more shall I be at their Beck and Call
Towards freedom I set my sight
Like a carefree bird
Soaring in the heights
…. (to be continued)

The Eagle and "him"

It was around lunch time and I was on a call with a business user. Suddenly a shadow loomed over me and cast its dark shadows on my computer screen. I turned around. It was Chunnu and he was blabbering something. I finished my call and kept the phone. When I turned to face Chunnu again, he was writing something on a sticky note.
It read - "The Eagle and Me".
I wondered was it a new book he is trying to tell me about or did he have some dream about his earlier birth :-D

I gave a quizzical look to Chunnu and he beamingly said -

"The Eagle and Me are alike. The Eagle watches it prey from very far off and then swoops down and catches it prey. I'm also like the eagle, give me 7 days, I'll show you my prey".

7 days to see the prey? What was that?

"Menda.. guess what is the prey"....


hmmm.. what can you get in 7 days and what could be a prey for Chunnu?

"Some software"? "Sony Product"? "His girlfriend is coming to USA"?

All answers were turned down and he said -

"Come to my place, I will show it to you on the internet".

I asked him - "Show me here". He replied - "Its a one time webpage. I cant show it you".
I asked again - "Did you purchase tickets to Hawaii?" .. Answer was the same - "No. Go to www.americanexpress.com".

I had forgotten that his dream was to be a proud owner of an American Express Credit Card. "You got an Amex Card?". And he beamed again -

"At last... after 3 rejections, I was like the eagle, I did not lose track of my prey. I got it at
last. I applied for Blue Cash with a balance transfer and it got APPROVED !!!! and I am getting 3% cash back I think."

I replied - "3%? Blue cash is 5% buddy!!.. You have applied for something else." Chunnu got confused and he ran to his computer. After 20 minutes he came back with a sad look on his face. I enquired what happened. And then he related his sorrow.

"I checked and it was not Blue Cash, but I was approved for Amex Blue. So I called up Customer Service and asked them to take a new application for Blue Cash. They told me that I can apply for either one and they would have to cancel Amex Blue if I wanted Blue Cash. So I agreed for cancelling Amex Blue and applied for Blue Cash. But Now the application got Rejected!!!!!"

I could not help but burst into non-stop laughter..and I asked what happened to the Eagle? He replied -

"I guess the eagle has to wait for the prey for some more time".

A Day at India House!

It was one of those days when you don’t want to cook so that you can eat, particularly on a Saturday afternoon. I guess there were 3 more guys like me who shared my opinion because of which we found the 4 of us on the way to one of the not-so-abundantly-found-in-salt-lake Indian restaurants – “the India House”. It was close to 3pm well past beyond lunch hour and just about time for dinner in about an hour.

The four of us, Chaman, Munnu and Pappu walked into the restaurant with yours sincerely in the lead. The entire place was deserted except for the chairs and tables, and we were shown into a 2x2 booth.
Our server was a guy from our very own Pappu’s land – Punjab. Lets call him Santa singh for now… He was sporting a turban with a beard that was trimmed almost daily I guess.
So as it happened, while we were browsing through the menu and water was being served, Pappu saw something stains on the cutlery, so he asked Santa Singh to replace the spoon. Santa Singh stopped for a moment, took the spoon in his hand and brought it near so that he can take a close look. The way he was looking at it, I swear I felt that he had a microscope hidden in one of his eyes. And then he spoke –

“Its nothing, its just a drying mark after it has been through dishwasher”.

And he returned the spoon back, spun around and was going back to the kitchen.
Pappu spoke

“Hullo! I want you to change it.. I don’t care if it’s a mark”.

Santa Singh mumbling curses under his breath exchanged the spoon from another table (he kept that spoon on the other table !!! )

And the he mumbled to us -

"I always like when Americans come here, they don’t make me work so much and neither do they crib about spoons. Its only our desis who behave like this and make me run around. "

We were all eating there, dumbstruck that he actually said that. Welcome to Salt Lake City’s Indian Restaurants.

Chunnu Munnu - Episode 1

I was in the restroom one day when I heard a loud voice -

"and then I took out the stamp from my pocket and gave it to him and said this is your tip".

That was Munnu's voice! THE Stamp? for a tip? Strange.

"I tell you, nowadays most of the time if I see him I feel like slapping him".

Violent Munnu! Something is wrong... I can smell gossip... Lemme find out what is going on.

But first time for flashback - Chunnu and Munnu,two individuals, miles away from their homes and families, in search of better avenues are in the land of oppurtunities (as called by someone in some movie). Chunnu's dream - to become the President of USA and of course to become the proud owner of an American Express Credit Card. Duh! Munnu's dream/fantasy - It has to do something with Jungle and running and being upside down, I am really not sure(or maybe I am not allowed to disclose it). Chunnu and Munnu are roommates now for a little more than a year, and a few days back were joined by one Mr Pappu Singh from Punjab. The presence of Mr Pappu is very irrelevant. I mean irrelevant in the story. Sorry Papaji.

Chunnu and Munnu are the proud owners of a second hand television which used to sit imposingly on a cardboard box in the hall of their apartment and for quite some time that was the only decorative item in that room. So one day as destiny would have wanted it to happen Chunnu decided to move the TV to his room and suggested to Munnu that he would pay him half the price of the TV so that he owns it completely. Munnu thought for a while (I was surprised to know that he can think! but again that is not the focus of this blog, back to the story), he thought and said - we bought the TV for $50 shared by 2 of us making it $25 each, Ok.. I will sell it to you for $20. Chunnu bargained and said $15, Munnu - $18, Chunnu - $17.50. $17.50 - 1, $17.50 - 2, $17.50 - 3. Sold to Mr Chunnu for $17.50.So Mr Chunnu paid the amount to Munnu and became the proud and sole owner of the TV and moved it to his room (probably along with the cardboard box :-D )

Day Two:

"Munnu..Munnu... The remote is not working.. it was working till yesterday".

Munnu sighed, gave a smirk and then with an irritated expression replied -

" So what should I do if it is not working today?"

Chunnu said he would move the Tv back to the hall and demanded his money back. (Some people definitely are impressed by the 30 day return and money back policy here). Munnu did not agree to it and an argument started. Both of them went to Pappu's room fighting about the matter. Did I mention earlier that Pappu is irrelevant.. sorry Mr Pappu if I said so. So after Pappu became the judge and after a lot of arguments, Munnu agreed to give the money back. After he gave Chunnu the check, he said -

"I will tip you also.. here take 80 cents and he took out a stamp from his purse and gave it to him".

Whew! God Save the Queen!

pssst.. I have been told by reliable sources that someone will be murdered if this blog sees the light of the day.. so it is my sincere request please read it during the night or probably in a darkened room ;-)

?

Its 30 minutes past midnight. Temperature outside is exactly 0 deg C. Its drizzling outside, freezing rain as the meteorologists would say. Not a very good time to stay awake for working exactly.

Every now and then my eyes dart to the time on the computer and then to the record counter which is decreasing like the dollar to rupee exchange rate. Damn! 221,714 to go still.. this could take hours. Why am I still awake... like a mummy(without the embalmation stuff), lying stomach down on my bed inside a comforter... the cold air breezing in through the open windows..

Hippee I got a mail... it was from Editor Bob! :( Where has everyone gone? Am I dreaming about this? Let me pinch myself... Ouch! that hurt! Nope.. I am not dreaming...

219,248 to go... No, this cannot happen to me... Not a single mail... Oh God what do I do now.
zzzz......zzzzz........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..

Its the Weekend!!

Its friday evening again! And its time for people to do what they like the most.
In all the days and months and hours I have been here, it was interesting to watch different categories of people.

The first category is the one where people(gangs) would gather at one house,drink their favourite "juice" all night long and bitch about their problems (or as they see the problems).
As for the others who are in the non-juice category, it will be what movie should we rent tonight? Are you cooking tonight or shall we dine out? Do you want a drive-thru or probably lets order pizza, there should be some coupons lying around in the kitchen. At the end of the "juice" party the non-juicers would probably have to drive the juice-rs home.

Then there are some people who want something to do after work hours, so they take a backup of the files in the computer, reinstall the Operating System on the laptop and install all the needed software and restore the files from the backup. And then they would take a stopwatch and record the time windows takes to start or the time internet explorer took to open a new window. If not satisfied, they repeat the backup-reinstall process again. I pray that the Lord does not make me so jobless like them.

Then there are some who cannot simply sit at home and they have to go out, even if going out means to the gas station to fill gas or to a grocery store to buy chewing gum.

Then there is the category, who "chat" during dinner time till the person on the other side goes to sleep or if they are on the other side of the world, they have to goto lunch or return home or their mother is waiting for them or whatever. Then they realise that they are hungry (at 1am in the night) and hurry to the kitchen to gobble up food quickly and then go back to "Chat" with the next appointment.

Then there is this category where people are looking for reasons to go to office or work from home as they cannot cease to be workaholics. Also as a parallel to this category are the ones who look for reasons for not leaving the house during the weekend (as the wife is chattering incessantly in the background). Unless of course there is this category who want a change from the culinary delights of the other half once during the weekend at least.

Last but not the least, comes the category comprising of the romeos and juliets, who wait impatiently for the clock to be at the desired time before they can call up their sweethearts and at least cuddle upto them in thoughts. Did u have breakfast? did u miss me? Did your PM scold you for not finishing your work...oh he's so bad..so insensitive. :-)

And then there also is a category which watches all this and writes a blog. ha ha. ;-)

Doctor Doctor!!

It was calm and quiet in the office. At my client site all employees had left early today. The only sound that could be heard was the humming of the "Sun" server in the cubicle in the next aisle. Suddenly the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. It was my desk phone. I removed my earphones and picked up the receiver. "Hello, can you come home? I need to go to the doctor". It was Chaman and his throat was paining, probably tonsilitis.

I picked up my jacket, locked my workstation and headed out into the cold weather to my car.
I reached home to see Chaman engrossed in watching "Trinity" in Matrix Reloaded. Gosh! That movie is played at least 3 times a day everyday on this channel.

We went to the nearest Instacare center. The doctor examined Nitin and asked him - "What's the problem?".
Our hero - "I think it is tonsilitis".
Doctor - "Have you taken any medication in the past?"
Chaman - "Yes I have always taken Amoxycilin."
Doctor - "Very Well, I will prescribe the same". and he gave a prescription for amoxycilin 500mg tablets 2 times a day for 7 days.

Nitin came out of the inspection room and commented to me - "The doctors here are not at all confident. Doctors in India are so much better. These guys are so young. He gave me the same medicine I was searching for in the drugstore the other day, but they wouldn't give it to me without a prescription".
I said -"Now u have ur prescription.. Have fun! "
Nitin - " Lemme buy medicines for 20 days so that I never have to come back again !!".

Whew! All I could do was nod my head and take him to the nearest drugstore.

Double Tadka !!

Whew! Its Tuesday again, and the designated day for Chaman to cook. Before we left office he made it a point to remind me - "oye, I have to cook today. so u better take me to a grocery store."

We believe in the concept of cyclic cooking. Well it basically means, that one person cooks and all the others eat. So since we are six, each one has been assigned a day he has to churn out his culinary masterpieces while the remaining will just eat. And ya, saturday is an off day. None is responsible to cook that day, but u can always volunteer :-)

I left him to his means while I went to the nearby DVD rental store to exchange the two old titles for new ones. I met a beaming Chaman in the grocery store as he said - "I have taken all vegetables, what do you want to eat today". My reply - "something edible". He looked at me for sometime as if I was an alien from a far off galaxy and then shrugged it off. "Yaar, why does Tuesday come so quickly".

Two hours later, the doorbell rang. It was our very own Chef-du-jour with a pressure cooker in his hand and announced - "Daal is ready". On asking him what with that he gave me a puzzled look and cool-ly answered - "Why, rice... what else?". "U mean, just rice and daal" - I shot back. To that he replied - "Todays daal is special, its Double Tadka Daal". Ewww!!!! Now what in the lord's name is a DTD(Double Tadka Daal) ?

Looking at my expression he relucatantly agreed to make some side dish. Imagine my horror when I checked back after 30 minutes to see a plate of scrambled eggs (probably 4 eggs for 6 people).

This is laziness at its heights.. not only am I (we ?) tolerating this, but we are not doing anything to rescue ourselves from the dinner@debacle.com that happens most of the time. And to think that these cooks are the same married-bachelors who used to cook reasonably well before they got married. If you comment something on the food, back comes a retort - "be thankful my wife is not cooking.. at least you are able to eat this".

God bless us all. and yes, "Why does Tuesday come so quickly?"

Eureka Eureka !!

Guess what! I am posting my first blog.
And all 'coz of my dear friend who wanted me to signup so that I can write comments for blogs posted by my dear friend. Looks like writing blogs is also a very contagious disease.

I used to wonder what "IS" a blog?
So you can guess what I did... Yeah I typed in http://www.google.com/ and I searched for "Define Blog". And I did get a few definitions as in -

"Its a Web log." ,
"Its a web journal-thingy that you rant in..^_^;; uh yeah. That's what it is..I guess." ,
"this is how you enter a feedback",
"never heard about it, mate!"

Well I think I will stick to the Weblog definition till I make up one of my Own.. something like - By Large an Online Guide. But a guide to what? Keep visiting this page to find out more. ;-)

Arghhhhhh! There goes my beeper again! Somehow this beeper seems to love me so much that it always goes off at odd times whichever week I am on-call. So let me get back to my work and worry about this blog some other time.

Kindly Adjust !!

The purpose of this blog was to be able to write comments on other blogs. Any resemblance of the comments to any person is purely Intentional. So Kindly Adjust !